Finding Courage to Change
I want to invite you to jump into the way-back machine with me. Imagine the wavy lines and hear the music that will take you there. You’re heading back to when you were around 8-12 years old. Those first BIG DREAMS you had of what you wanted life to be like when you were a grown-up.
What do you see? Who do you imagine you will become?
What excites you? Do you love to dance? Act? Create art? Build things? Organize things? Heal and comfort your sick and wounded stuffies?
When people ask you “What do you want to become”, do you imagine becoming a ballerina? A chef? A fashion designer? A firefighter? A pilot? An astronaut?
Or, did you just want to be happy, playful, respected, heard?
Okay, it’s time to come back to the present day.
What did you learn about yourself on that little trip in the way-back machine? Are the things that excited you then still things that light you up today? How much of that are you incorporating in your life? How much has been left by the wayside over the years?
Now, from where you are today, what are your hopes, your dreams, your desires? Do you want to open a flower shop, travel the world, be able to have one hour a week that’s all for you and nobody else?
There are so many things we each want to do with our lives. And yet, something - be it the kids, money, time, energy - always seems to get in the way.
I’m about to say something a little controversial, and most of my clients don’t like hearing it the first time I say it. So, I ask you to take a deep breath, and be open to a new way to look at where you are and where you want to be.
Each thing that is taking priority in your life over what you really want is a distraction. Excuses of kids, money, time, energy and the like are just that - excuses. When we really want something we need to be able to have the COURAGE to take risks and make ourselves and others temporarily uncomfortable.
And it’s true - if you want something to change, you have to do something different, even if it’s uncomfortable and puts you in a place where fear exists. That’s where change happens. That’s where magic happens.
How do you find the courage to make these types of changes - making yourself and your work a priority? I’m glad you asked. Here are three ways I think might help you get started.
Connect your head and heart
Most humans spend over 95% of their time living above their shoulders, ostensibly ignoring the wisdom of the rest of our bodies. When we start moving out of our brains and into our bodies, we enable ourselves to reduce fear and have the courage to live our best lives. One of the best entry points to listening to our bodies is through our hearts.
While the brain and the heart work independently of one another, with the heart sending 90% more information to the brain than the brain does to the heart, keeping the two disconnected doesn’t allow us to operate at our peak - physically, emotionally, or mentally.
Honoring the wisdom of your heart allows you to tap deeply into the core of you. Maybe you’ve felt it before - those moments when your fears and worries seem to dissolve and you no longer feel confused or overwhelmed. That is your heart speaking to you and giving you clear messages on what your most authentic self wants for you in this lifetime. It is from this place that connecting your heart’s wisdom to your brain’s decision-making allows you to make the best choices that work for you.
If you need a little help with this process, check out this meditation by Tali Brash to help you Move From Your Head to Your Heart.
Ask your future self
When you’re struggling with the fear of stepping into something new or stepping away from something that is no longer working for you, stop and ask your future self what she thinks. Go as far out as you can imagine - 25, 30, 50 or more years.
Imagine you are looking back on your life. What seems to be the most important to future self? What would you regret doing or not doing? She’s wise. Listen to her.
The more regularly you visit your future self, the more wisdom you will be able to glean on how to live in courage.
Flex your courage muscle
Sometimes you may not be ready to make a big change or take a big leap. It just means you need to strengthen those muscles to help you get to where you want.
If you were to head into the gym for the first time in many years, you wouldn’t head over and grab the weights you lifted 10 years ago. If you did, you would likely end up with some form of injury.
The same is true for flexing your courage muscle.
Whether you have never felt courageous a day in your life, or if you are just returning to a place where it feels safe to be courageous, you can start training that muscle, just like you would in the gym. If you take small steps one after the other, over time you will have made huge changes.
This happens through trying new things, taking on part in new activities, and having new experiences. Practice getting out of your comfort zone. Create the habit of challenging yourself on a regular basis.
Start with small things like trying a new food you thought you would never eat, saying no to a get together you’re really not interested in, or yes to one you’ve been dying to go to. Bring a friend or loved one with you as you set out to develop your courage muscle.
What choice can you make today that can lead to more courage tomorrow?
