Leading Through Intuition
“Intuition doesn’t tell you what you want to hear;
it tells you what you need to hear.”
I remember hearing for years, “Trust your gut.” The thing was, I had no idea what my gut was telling me. In my gut I felt fear, anxiety and overwhelm. The more I listened, or thought I was listening, the more sure I was that my gut didn’t know what the heck it was talking about.
As I moved through my 30s and 40s, I made my way from web developer, to practicing attorney, to nonprofit executive. Each time, I checked in with my gut as to what I was “supposed” to be doing. I followed each path, and was afforded some amazing opportunities. I saw promotions, pay raises and new opportunities on the leadership ladder.
And yet, something still wasn’t right. There was nothing wrong, but it also wasn’t right. So, I kept checking in with my gut, which continually felt tied up in knots.
So, I hired a career coach to help me untangle the knots in my belly.
The answer I got from working with her was not at all what I expected.
Instead of asking me to “trust my gut” she asked me to “listen to my heart”. Okay, fine. Different body part, I thought, maybe I’ll get a different answer.
At first, it was very much the same. This time it showed up as tightness in my chest, a fluttery feeling like my heart was going too fast (but it wasn’t), and I also noticed what felt like a lump in my throat. If I had to put a word on it, it would have been fear. I was terrified. I was in my 40s and I hadn’t figured it all out yet. What was wrong with me?
In her wisdom, she asked me to do one simple thing each day - take an intentional pause and listen to my heart.
At first it felt silly. I would put my hands over my heart and take a deep breath, waiting to hear something other than “You’ve screwed it all up!!” rattling around in my brain.
But, with her support, I kept trying.
Over many, many weeks, that berating voice got quieter. My breaths got deeper. I felt more connected to my heart-center.
And then, one day as I sat alone in my car in the parking lot of my work, giving myself a transitional pause before going from mama-mindset to work-mindset, I felt something different.
A shift of some kind. An opening, if you will.
There was no voice telling me I was wrong, or that I had screwed up, or that I had missed my chance to do something great in my lifetime. There was no feeling of fear or anxiety or overwhelm.
There was peace. And openness. And quiet.
It just so happens that I had a meeting scheduled for that day with our leadership team. I had become so confused as to my role on the team over the years. Was I the strong one? The quiet one? The decisive one who made things happen? I was a little bit of everything and that added up to what felt like a whole lot of nothing.
As I walked into that meeting, I gently placed my hand on my heart and took a deep breath. I didn’t know why or how it was going to help me, it just felt like the right thing to do
As with most of our meetings, there was a lot of time spinning on consensus building, who will we piss off with this decision, who will we be placating. About 20 minutes into the meeting, instead of sitting in frustration and passively listening to what was happening, I spoke up from a place I didn’t know existed within me.
“What is it we’re actually trying to accomplish by making this decision,” I asked.
The room silenced. All eyes on me. Normally, this would have been painfully uncomfortable, but I felt quite the opposite. I knew I had good questions to ask, and maybe even a helpful answer or two.
As I look back over this moment, I realize this is the exact moment I stepped into my most authentic self as a leader, both in business and my life.
I stopped trying to ask the right questions or have all the answers, and I just started leading from that voice that quietly emanated from my heart. I started leading with my intuition. Not my head. Not my gut. My heart is the center of my intuitive voice.
As I started leaning into my intuitive voice, I started to recognize that I had:
Much less chronic stress in my life
Easier access to my creativity and imagination
A much clearer understanding about myself and what I wanted for my life
Far less negative self talk
An easier time making decisions
I started to pay more attention to the leadership styles around me. I learned that intuitive leaders are filled with curiosity. They are more decisive, calm, and centered. They get better results from their teams and have more fulfillment in their personal and professional lives.
Now, as a coach myself, I help others find their intuitive voices, particularly as it relates to how they show up as leaders in both their work and personal lives.
Everything you need to know about using your intuition as a leader is already within you. Your intuition comes from every experience, person, piece of media, successes and failures you have already had. It’s the unlearning and uncoupling from the fear, anxiousness or overwhelm we’ve become so accustomed to that is the greatest hurdle.
Here are a few ideas on how you can get started with this process as you learn to hear what your intuitive voice sounds like.
1 - Take a Pause
This is the gift my coach gave me many years ago - taking a pause. The trick here isn’t to take a pause when you need it, as I did before I entered that meeting. It’s to practice taking a pause before you ever need it so your body instinctively knows what to do when you do need it.
You’re going to create the habit of taking a pause to another habit you already have. By “daisy-chaining” habits together, you are taking a shortcut to creating new neural pathways that allows you to create new habits more easily.
Look for transitional times in your day. Think of things like when you go to the bathroom, or in your car before and after work.
Place your hands over your heart, if that feels good. Maybe close your eyes. Take three deep breaths in and out. Be in silence and stillness for 10 seconds. Take another deep breath and carry-on with your regular practice.
Over time, this practice will allow your body to automatically slow down when you need it most. It just doesn’t naturally remember how to do it, so you’re re-training it.
2 - Daily Reflection
Taking time at the end of your day to reflect on any experiences, thoughts or emotions that came up throughout the day can help connect you to your values and priorities. Including doodles or drawings can further stretch your right brain (creative), which is helpful in decision making and problem solving.
Writing down your thoughts and impressions allows you to start building trust in your intuition. Over time, this can help move you from a purely analytical perspective.
3 - Visualize
Spending time with visualization practices can help develop your connection to your intuition. It uses a different part of your brain from when you are focused on data or analysis. This can be as simple as staring out the window or staring at an object for a period of time.
Find a time where you can quietly sit for 10-15 minutes and something you can place your focus on (out the window, a tree, a plant, a candle). What do you see in the item? What qualities emanate from it? What do these qualities mean to you? How are they connected to your values or priorities? Are you interested in incorporating more of these qualities into your work/life?
Use the imagery of this item as a touchpoint for you and your work. Take a picture of it and place it on the home screen on your phone or print it out and put it in a place where you can easily see it. Regularly revisit some quiet time with this image as you more deeply develop your connection with these qualities.
As you continue to develop your intuition, allow yourself to be surprised by how it shows up in your work and life. By allowing yourself to do, feel or behave differently, you are allowing yourself to shift away from the patterns you have created over decades and start developing new habits that more deeply connect with your ideals, values and priorities.
