Embracing Your Growth Edge
I was in a conversation with a client the other day where we discussed the next steps she could take in her business. She knows she has a great service she provides and she really enjoys delivering it. But, as she explained, she “knew” she needed to add a new service to bring in new clients. It wasn’t that she wanted to add a new service, but all of the “experts” she’s been reading gave her the feeling that her potential clients need more offerings, more services, more opportunities to connect with her.
Now, mind you, this isn’t someone who is just starting her business. This is a woman with a 20+ year corporate history followed by opening her own practice, which she has successfully owned and run for nearly a decade.
But, she got to a new ‘growth edge’ and suddenly doubted her ability to do what needs to be done to grow her business on her terms. Instead, she’s created a flurry of externally driven thoughts that have put her into a place of confusion.
We often do this. We have a big change we want to make so we go outside ourselves for the answer because we’re too afraid to listen to our own intuition about how to move forward.
Sound familiar?
When I look back over my own life, I can see so many different stages where I hit a growth edge and just… froze. I would spin my wheels, consuming what others were saying and trying to figure out what was right for me. There were times when it literally took years to get out of my own way and start making true forward progress again.
The idea of what happens at a growth edge fascinates me, especially because I’ve seen first hand what can happen when we make it over the edge instead of backing away or freezing in place.
Growth edges exist everywhere - at work, at home, in our systems, on our teams. They are those places that have fear on one side and change on the other. The edge is the place in the middle. Sometimes it can feel like going through the eye of a needle. Other times it can feel like jumping off a cliff. It’s the gatekeeper to moving from the known to the unknown.
Think about it. You can are in a growth edge if you are moving from:
Burnout to resilience
Solopreneur to employer
Focusing on parenting to returning to the workplace
Single to partnered (or back again)
These are some of the big ones that are pretty obvious.
But a growth edge shows up whenever there is change of any kind - big or small. They can pop up as we’re minding our own business, doing our everyday routines, when suddenly we have an urge to do something differently. We take a new route to the store. Have a conversation with a colleague instead of staying silent. Not be the first one to step up to take on a new project like you always do.
When we make the choice to veer off from our normal course of action, we hit a growth edge. The question then becomes, do we do the work to get to the other side (i.e. we experience growth), or do we stay where we are?
Try the following activity with small changes you want to make. Repeat it often until you’re ready to take on more challenging changes.
Identify one specific change you would like to make and write it down. Examples of smaller changes to practice could be spending less time on social media, leaving a few bites of food on your plate instead of being part of the empty plate club, becoming more approachable by saying “Hi” to one new person a day.
Identify the challenges with making this change. Look for behaviors that are contrary to your desired outcome, things that go against your goal or that don’t otherwise support your goal. So, if your goal is to spend less time on social media, you could write down things like, “often feeling bored”, “wanting an escape from work”, “avoiding co-workers”. This can also include competing commitments, as well, such as “keeping in touch with friends”, “being an active member in my Facebook group” and the like.
Identify your concerns with making this change. What worries you about doing this new thing? What happens if you fail or don’t make the change happen? What does it say about you if you do make this change happen? In the case of social media, you may worry about “not being connected” or “not being in the know” or “fear of missing out”. What is the truth about what you’re afraid of if you change this thing?
Identify the underlying “story” (or assumption) that’s keeping you from making this change. Under every fear there is a story that is keeping that fear solidly in place. By naming it and shining some light on it, you’re able to start to dissipate its hold on you. Again, in the social media example is it that “I won’t be relevant if I’m not on social media” or “things feel more real when they’re shared via social media”? Give it some thought. What’s that story you’re telling yourself about why your current habit or situation is the way it “needs” to be?
Playing with our growth edges can actually be a fun way to strengthen that muscle. Just like with anything in life, the more we practice with something, the easier it gets for us.
What’s one growth edge you’re ready to start practicing with?
If you’re dealing with some bigger growth edges, coaching is a great way to move through them in a sustainable way. Feel free to find some time on my calendar for a chat to see if there’s something I can help you with as you work through yours.
